Questions

Dear readers,

I've been swamped in fan mail and have taken great pains to respond to all of your letters.  It seems that some of my fans have a self-defeating fear of technology and prefer to comment in pen, rather than online.  Don't be scared.  

Many of my letters contain similar content and there is a desire to know just who Sweetie P. Clark is.  Well, as a lady of refined manners, I cannot reveal too much.  I will, however, answer the most commonly asked questions right here, right now.

Q:  Sweetie, how did you get to to be soooo pretty?

A:  In addition to being born this way, I take proper care of myself and follow a strict beauty regimen. I make sure that I get plenty of sleep every day and every night.  I drink water; that's the only thing I drink.  I follow portion control.  In fact, I've been known to leave half of my meal in my bowl.  I am so exact in my measurements that it looks like an architect has created a masterpiece.  I go easy on the carbs, preferring instead to dine on protein, acquired locally when possible.  I never eat chocolate. I take vitamins. I go on daily walks.  I do yoga.  I do stair exercises.  I get massages. I see the doctor at least once a year.  I travel.  I work.  I play.  I relax. I don't hold grudges or stay mad for long. Most importantly, I never leave the house without my beautiful fur coat and full makeup.  

Yours truly taking a walk in my old hometown.

It's important to enjoy nature.  Here I am getting ready for a nap outside.

Q:  Sweetie, have you always been sooooo pretty?

A:  Well, I suppose I have!  There was however, one time in my life when I was so down and so out that I lost my beautiful figure to some very bad things.  As a result, I neglected my fur coat.  When I see pictures from that time, I just see a really sad, lonely, lost, cute little girl; not the beauty queen that you all know me as.

Q:  Sweetie, how did you get to be so smart?

A:  Life experience has made me wise beyond my years.  

Q:  Sweetie, what is the best way to break up with a significant other?

A:  The best thing to do is to disappear without a trace.  You don't owe anyone an explanation.  When it's done, it's done.  Move on.

Q:  Sweetie, what is the best way to attract someone's attention?

A:  The best way to attract someone's attention is to live your life as your marvellous self.  If someone doesn't notice you, there's nothing you can do to change that and it's really not your problem.  Move on.

Q:  Sweetie, how do you know if you are dating the right person?

A:  That's a no-brainer.  If you have to ask if you are dating the right person, you aren't.  

Q:  Sweetie, what is your favorite food?

A:  Well, if you are asking that question, you must not have read my previous blogs.  As already indicated, my favorite FOODS are: pastrami, turkey, bacon, ham, salmon, chicken, roast beef, pork tenderloin, tuna,hot dogs, sharp cheddar, capicola, salami, pancetta, Swiss cheese, vanilla ice cream, to name a few.

Q:  Sweetie, how do you balance your guarding responsibilities with your personal life with such grace and ease?

A:  It may surprise you to learn that I didn't always balance my life so well.  I used to think that I had to be on duty  always and could never say no when I was asked to work overtime.  That's all changed.  I've reviewed my contract quite closely and made sure that I understand both my rights and my responsibilities.  I do take my job seriously and when I'm on the clock, I perform at the highest level possible.  I never sleep on the job. Please note my perfect record if you require evidence.  I realize though, that my personal life is just as important as my professional life, so when I need to take some time off, I do and I don't feel bad about it.   I also take my two 15 minutes breaks, my hour lunch, and holidays.  It's all stated in my contract.

Readers, I've said enough for now.  Keep your questions coming!

Yours truly,

Sweetie P. Clark