Finnish Johannes Finnegan

Dear Readers,

After the sensation my last post caused, I thought I'd better be quick with a follow-up.

Exciting news!  I found a long lost cousin, Johannes. I'd long ago heard the legend of Finnish Johannes Finnegan, but doubted that he really existed.  I mean, I know about everybody who is anybody and I didn't know him.  Well, it turns out that he had some personal struggles, like yours truly, out of the public eye, unlike yours truly, and only recently has been given the support to flourish and be what he is.  Anyway, as soon as he saw a picture of me, Johannes immediately new that I was the great Sweetie P. Clark that he had long ago heard about, too, and decided to contact me post haste.  

Johannes has since explained in great and careful detail why we've been kept apart for so many years.  It seems that there is a nasty streak in our family.  Apparently, this nastiness has caused great rifts within the family and it is born out of spite and envy. Some of the family just aches to have the  fortune we have in the looks, wit, fitness, finesse, and humility departments. C'est la vie.

Unfortunately, in his initial contact Johannes did slip and let leak that I am indeed from a long line of royalty, but the sophisticated reader probably already suspected as much.  I digress.  Johannes, who currently resides in Finland, has quickly become one of my confidants, such is the way it works with family.  Though we've only recently become acquainted, there is something eerily familiar about him and I find great comfort in our communications.  Any single ladies who might be reading this, let me just say Johannes is a hottie.  If he wasn't my cousin, I'd be hubba hubba for him.  But, because he is family, albeit my 81st cousin, I don't get those kinds of feelings for him.  Rather, to quote the famous philosopher, Dan Kelly, all I feel is "Yuck!".  (See more at http://www.amazon.com/Yuck-Significance-Disgust-Philosophical-Psychology/dp/0262518554 )

However, just because we are family, doesn't mean I can't appreciate great beauty when I see it.  To speak my truth, when I see Johannes, I kind feel like I'm really seeing myself.  What more could this gal ask for?

Who could it be? Moi? No, it's Johannes.

 Ta-ta,

The One and Only Sweetie P. Clark

What I am is What I am (or What)

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

Pardon my absence; I've been busy tracing my genealogy.  Since before my days on the runway to my present post as security, I've received countless comments on my great beauty, intelligence and refined disposition. I'm also inundated with  questions like, "Sweetie, how are you so pretty?" and "Sweetie, what kind of gal are you?".  In my valiant effort to address the concerns of my ever-adoring fans, I decided to delve in a little deeper to the mystery of what I am.  

My methodical research lead me to many-a different tree branches and scores of fascinating gossip.  (I'll have a story or two to share at a later date.) It will probably come as no surprise to the reader that my family, and thus I, have a rather complicated, sophisticated, and sensational past.  However, as a courtesy to my busy readers, I've hacked away at the tangled web and will reveal in the most simplest of forms that what I am is what I am (or what).  [I"m not afraid of too many things.]

If you take this:

Finnish-Lapphund

And add this:

Border Collie

You get this:

Beautiful moi.

And mystery solv-ed!

Au revoir,

Sweetie P. Clark