Sunday, December 11, 2011

Puparazzi part 2

I can't believe those dastardly devils are still hounding me.  The Puparazzi won't leave me alone.  The latest pictures circling the Internet are unauthorized and taken out of context. 

Let me explain.  

The latest headlines claim "From the Runway to the Gutter", implying that I am spinning out of control.  Not true!  Yes, there was a low point in my life when I lost my senses (that happens to all of us, right, Brittany?), but I learned from my mistakes and have been living a life of utter refinement and dignity ever since.  I live sensibly and consciously, and do my part to reduce, reuse and recycle.  However, some seemingly sentient beings live dangerously apathetic lives (is that too harsh?) and cause harm to my mother, Nature.  As I am a loyal lady and want to protect Mother, I willingly go to great lengths to help clean up the mess caused by others.  

See exhibit A
Technically, this is not a gutter, so the accusation that I've returned to the gutter is illogical.  Furthermore, what you see in this picture is evidence that I take action and make deliberate choices to reduce unnecessary waste.  Here, I am exploring a delightful scent that I picked up and preparing to chow down on perfectly good, sadly discarded, morsels of food.  I disagree that this pictures shows that I am trashy, rather it reflects my commitment to lighten the load sent to landfills as well as my resourcefulness- I was hungry, there was food. More important is what you don't see, the lazy lad who couldn't be bothered to throw his trash in the dumpster or recycle his plastic water bottle.  Really, whose behavior is more disgusting?

Exhibit B

Here's another photo from the same day, same dumpster.  My impeccable skills demonstrate what is now being referred to as "dumpster diving".  Dumpster diving is part of the green movement and is growing in popularity.  Dumpster divers save perfectly good, but discarded meat, dairy, produce, flowers, wrapping paper, etc., from the landfill.  Notably,  I've been invested in the Earth cause for as long as I can remember, so I simply refer to this activity as smart.  

Unfortunately, this day's mission was ultimately unsuccessful.  I was prevented from consuming the treasures I found.  My assistants don't yest support this little habit of mine, so when their over-protective eyes are watching, I can't get the goods. 

Readers, take time to reflect on the messages in this latest blog; I have filled it with wonderful words of wisdom, such as:
Reduce, reuse, recycle
Be true to yourself
Look fabulous no matter what you are doing

Best,
Sweetie P. Clark

P.S.  If you want to comment, join my site and become a follower of Sweetie P.!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

what to wear in winter

Dear Readers,
I've been observing the latest trends in winter wear and I am unimpressed.  When did it become fashionable to dress like a lazy slob?  Never!  

The first and best option for winter wear is to live in a beautiful, original black fur coat.  
Look how positively dashing a sight to see the luxurious black coat contrasted against the crisp white snow.  I look absolutely adorable with the spot of snow on my nose.

If you have neither the figure nor the finances to afford what I have, I am happy to provide a sensible and striking alternative.  Full disclosure, Hank, who you see pictured below, is an old acquaintance from my modeling days.  I've reprinted his picture with permission.

 Certainly I don't need to point out that Hank lacks fur and a perfect figure, but notice what he does with what he has.  The shades of gray, black and white compliment and camouflage his pear shape.  By choosing one main color for most of the look, and using other colors as accent pieces, he elongates his frame.  While it has become incredibly popular to choose footwear in contrasting colors, Hank is too smart to be fooled into that fashion faux pas.  He knows that wearing boots the same color as his garb will add length to his frame and help balance out his exceptionally long neck.  The black that he added along his torso creates curves in all the right places-did anyone see Kate Winslet's dress at Cannes?  The bright white adds a pop of color and draws attention to his slender neck and gorgeous face.  Hank has chosen to play up his magnificent eyes with some dramatic hues and because he keeps the rest of his look rather simple, it works.  

I'm most impressed with Hank's flair and the way he uses it to add a sense of dignity to his look while, again, hiding those darned imperfections (something that I don't have).  He has a tiny, little head, and a rather rotund derriere.  However, the feathers on the back of his head create balance, and again, draw attention to that wonderful face.  The feathers he's draped along his chest are stunning and distract from his bottom heavy shape.  They add a sense of royalty and refinement to his look.

Hank is a good and handsome boy, though every year he struggles with winter weight gain.  Still, no one has every seen Hank feeling sorry for himself and lounging around in a big sweatshirt with elastic waist pants.   Even when he doesn't feel his best, he looks his best.  And I know that once summer rolls around, he'll drop the feathers and show off his newly svelte figure.

My advice to you, dear readers, is to always look your best.  If you don't have what I have (and you don't), work with what you've got.  You have to look your best to look your best.

Yours truly, 
Sweetie P. Clark