Readers beware!
The puparazzi has discovered where I live and has been infiltrating my private life. I retired from the public eye years ago, preferring to live a life in quiet contemplation. If I wanted to be in the spotlight, trust me, one shake of my tail and I'd be back on the runway. I don't know how they've found me, but they did. My handler spotted curious pictures of me on the Internet. While it's impossible for me to take a less than stellar shot, some of these photos are rather intimate. I'm posting them here to debunk any myth that those hounds may try to circulate about me. If you see them in any other media source, don't trust them.
So what's the big deal? Sometimes I prefer to forgo the fancy linen and china and eat al strada, as I say. This good old fashioned style of dining keeps me humble. And, eating while standing burns more calories. Check out my figure for further proof.
Everybody has got a dirty little secret. I happen to indulge in a good chew from time to time. I don't think it's at all juvenile or undignified. It's just something that I prefer to do in the privacy of my home without the watchful, snooping eye of the puparazzi. Check out my sparkly whites!
In the first photo, I suspect that the strange man who came to inspect my heating system took an unauthorized shot. As I've established, I'm diligent when I'm on duty and I'm very strict about who I let in my front door. I can name everybody that has stuck a toe in my new digs. This man had the proper paperwork and performed the proper procedure, but somebody must have paid him off. Unacceptable!
In the second photo, I was clearly enjoying some time in the great outdoors. While I've noticed neighbors starring at me in the past, I thought it was due to my great beauty. I guess that's not the only reason. They recognize Sweetie P.
Tant pis pour moi.
Sincerely,
Sweetie P Clark
